When She Was Mine
by LexieBelikova
Summary: Dimitri left with good intentions, though he's thought of her every day since. Now she's gone, she's one of the undead. With only her diary and a hope buried deep in his heart will he be able to find her and save her? Or is it too late and he'll have to destroy the one who holds his heart?
1. Chapter 1

Drumming my fingers against the steering wheel it felt like any other day. Just sitting outside waiting for my charge to lock up her martial arts studio, the radio played softly in the background and I nodded my head along with the deep voiced country musician.

An odd feeling niggled at the back of my mind, like a cold sweeping sensation sending a shudder through my entire body. Without even thinking my hand reached out and brushed against the channel button, clicking it over to a pop station. I didnt know the artist or the song but something in the melody, the way I could imagine a women dancing along, enjoying the sounds made my chest tighten slightly. I try so hard, generally I do it well, but sometimes... sometimes my memories come flooding back, _she_ comes flooding back into my mind. Her dark, flowing hair, deep mesmerising brown eyes, her gentle musical laugh, the way it felt when her hand brushed my arm and even the way her lips felt brushing against my own, igniting a fire inside me that felt like it would burn me from the inside out.

The slamming of the passenger side door brought me back to reality with a jolt, my eyes opened and I looked at the women sitting in the passenger seat, She was looking at me strangely, her crystal blue eyes flicking down to the radio and then back to me.  
"Dimka? I didnt know you listened to this kind of music?" She arched an eyebrow at me.

I just shrugged before turning the station back to the country one I had been enjoying and started the engine, managing to push all my memories and emotions to the back of my mind. Those would wait until I was locked away in my room back at the house.

* * *

Two days later I sat on my bed, staring out of the large bay windows, my thoughts were a million miles away.

Its been two years, two long miserable years since I was at Saint Vladimirs. Since I was with _her_. I could remember my time before that, after Ivan was killed and I became withdrawn, anti-social and even a little depressed. I didnt think anything was more important than my duty, than protecting those that I had sworn to protect. I ran my fingers lightly over the back of my neck, even though I couldnt feel it I knew it was there, my promise mark. The tattoo that symbolised my life long commitment to protecting the Moroi.

Why then, didnt my heart believe it anymore?

My time at saint Vladimirs, even though it was only 6 months, had completely changed me. _She _completely changed me. Somehow she got through my walls, the barricades I had built to keep everyone out, to keep everything hidden inside me.

Somehow her enthusiasm, her undeniable charm and risk taking, her joy of life managed to break down everything I had built up. _She _found a way into my heart changing everything I believed. I wanted to put her first, I wanted to protect her always, she made me challenge every belief I ever held, I started wondering wether everything I had been raised to believe was wrong, how could I throw myself infront of a moroi when I only ever wanted to protect her?

It was wrong. I know it was wrong... but why?

Why was loving someone so wrong?

Knocking on my door bought me out of my thoughts, I glanced at the door and sighed before getting up to open it.

"Dimka, someones at the door for you, its a guardian...A royal guardian. He wouldnt tell me who he is or why he wants you." Tasha said, her arms crossed over her chest and a light scowl on her face.

I arched an eyebrow, I wasnt expecting anyone, especially not one of the queens guardians...

I made my way to the door to see a tall, broad shoulder man. His blonde hair was short but the fringe reached his eyebrows. His eyes were a deep green, he reminded me a little of Adrian Ivashkov a royal Moroi and royal pain in my ass.

"Can I help you?" I asked stopping just infront of the doorway and leaning slightly on the frame.

"Guardian Dimitri Belikov?"

I nodded.

"Her majesty Queen Vasillissa Dragomir requests your immediate presence." He spoke formally, handing me a folded white sheet of paper as he did so.

_Lissa wants to see me? Why? _

I took the note and unfolded it without saying a thing.

_**Dear Guardian Belikov  
**_**_I realise its been a long time, too long in my opinion. But something has happened and I need your help, Its urgent. It involves Rose._**

**_Queen Lissa._**

I stared at the note for a moment. _Somethings happened? Its urgent? Rose?_

_Roza... had something happened to her? Was she ok? Was she in trouble?_

The guardian infront of me shifted uncomfortably, clearing his throat lightly.  
"Give me a second, Ill grab my things and be right out." I replied turning and heading back into the house before he could utter a word.

"Dimka? What did he want?" Tasha questioned as I walked into the living room. She was sitting on the couch, I could tell she had been waiting for me because the tv wasnt on and she didnt have a book or anything else.

"Ive been summoned by the queen, Im leaving now to go and find out why." I replied as I swiped my wallet and phone from the coffee table. "You'll be alright here on your own?" I asked.

She looked hesitant, as though she wanted to argue but nodded her head.

"Ill let you know whats going on once I find out myself." I said as I headed off to my room to pack a small bag.

The whole 5 minutes it took me to pack my mind was in a frenzy. Lissa had never asked me for anything, as far as I knew she didnt know about Roza and I, unless Rose had told her after I left... I didnt know. Why was she asking for me now?

I said goodbye to Tasha and made my way out to the van where the guardian was waiting in the drivers seat, the engine running quietly.

We drove in silence all the way to the airstrip where a small private jet sat waiting on the runway. I followed him up the stairs and into the plush white interior.

"Queen Dragomir." I bowed as soon as I spotted her sitting inside. Her pale heart shaped face, with long platinum blonde hair spilling over her shoulders. Her jade green eyes appraised me and she smiled, but I could see a saddness in her eyes that I Couldnt explain.

"Dimitri, its so good to see you again, and you know I prefer my friends to call me Lissa." She spoke quielty as she stood up and hugged me.  
I wasnt expecting a welcome like that, she was the queen after all and I hadnt seen her in 2 years...

"Its good to see you Belikov." A deeper, slightly sarcastic voice sounded behind her.

I glanced over her shoulder and saw Christian Ozera, his black as night hair flipping over his eyebrows and his blue eyes staring at me intently. He had his trademark smirk on his face, he wouldnt be Christian without it.

"Lord Ozera." I nodded at him and smiled.

It was actually really good to see them both, I hadnt even realised how close I had gotten to them while I was at Saint Vlads, I actually thought of them as my friends.

As we all sat down and buckled our belts the small plane ascended into the night sky, its engine roaring until we reached a safe altitude and the seatbelt sign clicked off.

"So what do you need me for?" I asked, figuring it would be better to get straight to the point, I wanted to know what was wrong with Rose.

Lissa and Christian exchanged looks before Lissas jade green eyes locked onto mine.

"We know about your past... with Rose... We know that you both loved eachother and that you left. Rose hasnt been the same since then DImitri, she changed after you left. I honestly thought that with time she would go back to being herself and for a moment there she was but she still cried at night, she still had a vacant, distant look in her eyes sometimes. She refused to use the gym at court, or any gym really. She said she would train outside."

She paused as she tilted her head slightly, I felt as though she wasnt looking at me... she was looking around me...

"You miss her too... I can see it in your aura that you miss her... even when I just say her name the colour changes from pale yellow to a deep red..." her voice trailed off as her eyes went glassy. Christian touched her shoulder which seemed to bring her back, she shook her head slightly and sent a small smile his way.  
"Two days ago we were out shopping, We were attacked by a large group of strigoi and Rose..."

Her voice broke and she clenched her eyes closed. I felt my heart stutter, I thought I knew exactly what she was going to say.

"Rose is... dead?" I asked, my voice sounding strangled. It couldnt be true, she couldnt be gone... I swear my heart stopped as I waited for her to respond.

Lissa shook her head, her eyes glistening with tears and he lips trembled as she pushed out the words in a whisper... "Shes strigoi."


	2. 27-07-2012

Strigoi...Rose...strigoi... Rose is strigoi...

The sentence swam around in my mind, but I wasnt willing to comprehend it or accept it.  
Rose Hathaway couldnt be one of the undead... she just couldnt. She was too fiery, too fierce, too amazing to be one of those unfeeling, soulless creatures.  
A world without Rose wasnt one worth being in. There was a big difference between leaving her to live a life where she was free of distractions by me but she was still breathing and laughing to one where she was dead, or living an undead life as a murderous monster.

"Why... why do you need me?" I asked, finally shaking my head clear and looking at Lissa and Christian.

Lissa bit her lip lightly and looked down at her hands that rested in her lap, I noticed the book she was holding in her hands. How had I not noticed it before?

She reached out and offered the book to me.

It was black with a red rose and red writing on the front, a strip of red elastic was keeping it closed. I hesitantly took it from her and flipped it over reading the writing.

**"Property of Rose Hathaway, Read it and you'll be hurting for the rest of your life"**

I couldnt help the tug of a smile as I read the words, I could imagine her saying it with a serious look, hands on her hips.

"I found it in her room after... after she was gone." Lissa said, her voice tight. I looked up to see the tears falling down her cheeks.

I gently removed the elastic and opened it up to the first page.

**"Comrade" **Was drawn in large bold cursive right in the middle of the first page. My heart beat faster as I recognised her nickname for me. When she first started calling me that it annoyed me, I didnt like it. But eventually it became more than just a nickname, it became the symbol of her affection for me. Whenever she called me comrade would send a shiver up my spine and make my brain fuzzy.

"Its her diary. It starts basically from around our graduation. Dimitri, I swear if I had known any of that I would have changed things, I had no idea you two felt that way about eachother... we could have helped, we would have made it so you two could be together..." Lissas voice cut off as she sobbed. Her voice was higher than normal and the tears were streaming down her face. Christian pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back, whispering to her.

Her diary? This book held Roses inner most thoughts and feelings?  
What exactly did it say about me?

My curiousity got the better of me as I flipped open to the next page and read it:

**27/07/2012**

**Graduation is in a week. I managed to pass my trials, thanks to HIS training. They were still hard as hell, Im sure they put the strongest guardians in to be my 'strigoi'.  
My mother was there, along with Lissa and Adrian, Eddie and Christian, even Mia was there cheering me on... But it still didnt feel right, the one person that should have been there for me wasnt.  
I should be angry, I should be upset... but instead all I am is numb.  
Ive felt nothing since he left, I havent cried, I havent gotten angry, I havent done anything except what Im supposed to. Stan even commented in class the other day that Ive become "Tame", I dont think he knew what to think or do with me.  
I think my brain has shut off any emotion because it would hurt too much... Im kind of glad.  
To be honest Im surprised I still passed my trials, as badass as I am I havent actually been able to step foot in that gym... Alberta was surprisingly understanding when I told her I refused to train in there anymore, she just told me we would train outside from then on... maybe she knows something? She keeps looking at me with an odd look... almost like pity.. but she wont say anything about it.  
****I havent thought about the day he left, I refuse to acknowledge it or contemplate it. I dont want to break down so Im pushing it into the back of my mind, Ill never think about it. Never.**

**Adrian cornered me yesturday. He said he knew something was up, that I wasnt myself. He had studied me for a while, his eyes flickering around me. I could tell he was looking at my aura. "You need to let it out, dont hold in whatever youre feeling, its creating more and more darkness around you little dhampir." He had said, his voice eerily calm, he was completely sober too which made it all the more worse.**

**Like I need more darkness shadowing me.**

* * *

I honestly didnt know what to think, I knew Rose had been struggling with Lissas darkness before I left, that was what had led to us being alone in the cabin afterall... but I hadnt realised she had so much of her own darkness inside.. enough for Adrian to comment on it... and it was caused by me? How had I not seen it before I left?

I flipped through a couple of pages and read another date...


	3. 01-01-2013

**01/01/2013**

**Happy New Year **

**I made a new years resolution for myself yesturday.**

**I will get over him. Ill stop loving him, Ill move on and carry on with my life. **

**...**

**So far it hasnt gone so well.**

**I cant get his face out of my mind, his silky light brown hair, the cute tug of his lips when I cracked a lame joke, the way his eyes shone when he looked at me when I did something right, the way his intoxicating scent swirled around me whenever he was close...**

**He left so that he wasnt a distraction... well I think since he left hes all I ever think about which is distracting me more... I wish he had stayed.**

* * *

So did I. If I had never left maybe things would have been ok, maybe it would have all worked out anyway... maybe she wouldnt be one of them...

I flipped a couple of pages but Lissa spoke before I could start reading.

"Dimitri, do you know where she would go?" Her voice was small and strained.

I pursed my lips and thought hard, where would Rose go? She hadnt really been anywhere... except saint Vlads, Portland, Missoula... anger flared in me as I realised that I loved her, I should know her, I should know where she would go... but I Dont... I have no clue at all.

I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly. "I... I honestly dont know... You know her better than I do surely you would have a better idea than I would... Ive been gone for two years..."

I opened my eyes to see Lissa running her small hands over her face, wiping away the tears still on her cheeks.

"We will find her, Ill do everything I can to help you find her... but Lissa... Shes strigoi.. when we find her we'll have to...to..." I couldnt finish my sentence, I couldnt even think the rest of that sentence. I couldnt imagine a world without Rose in it, I couldnt imagine having to take her life, to run a stake through her heart... But if shes really a strigoi... then the Rose we knew is gone... and I would have to do it...

"NO!" My head whipped up at the harsh tone of her voice, Her eyes were hard and a fierce glare was on her face, I could see a determination in her eyes that rivalled that of Roses own. "No, shes not gone Dimitri, I will bring her back. I will save her. I think I know a way to save her. Its what she would do for me, for you, for anyone of her friends. She. is . not. gone!"

She was beyond angry now, her breathing was harsh and her hands were clenched in tight fists.

"You... you know how to save her?" I didnt understand, once someone became strigoi they were gone forever. It was a fate worse than death to alot of people, the soul was gone and in its place a murderous, innocent killing monster was in its place.

"There are stories... stories of spirit weilders who bought strigoi back to life, back to their original selves."

"You mean like legends? fairy-tales? Lissa nobody comes back from being strigoi. Its impossible. Theyre as good as dead, _shes_ as good as dead!" I growled, my anger was sudden but I couldnt stand even thinking that I could get her back. She was strigoi, she was basically dead, I couldnt get my hopes up because of some fairytale of people being bought back... I couldnt hope for something that had never been proven. I couldnt hope for something that would probably never be.

"I thought you of all people would believe me! Rose spoke so highly of you in that thing that I honestly thought you would trust me! I guess she was wrong! Dimitri if you dont believe me then fine, we'll turn this plane around and you can go back home. Ill do this on my own!" Lissa was on her feet, her hands still clenched at her sides, her face was livid. "Tell the pilot to turn us around, Guardian Belikov is going home." She spat before twisting on her heel and stalking into the room at the back of the plane and slamming the door.

I stared after her, my face still twisted in anger. She was chasing dreams, she couldnt honestly believe that Rose could be bought back from the undead life of a strigoi... it was insane... impossible.

I felt the plane turn 180 and head back in the other direction. I spent the next 20 minutes glaring out the window with my arms crossed. The diary in my lap all but forgotten for the moment.


	4. Chapter 4

I left the plane as soon as it touched down, not bothering to say goodbye to Lissa and just nodding to Christian who had remained silent the whole ride back.

I was still fuming when I paid the taxi driver and stalked my way back into the house I shared with Tasha.

"Dimka? Dimka what happened? Whats wrong?" Tasha asked as I slammed the front door and threw my keys down on the table. Her face showed real worry as she stood up from the couch and took a step in my direction.

I dont know what it was about that single statement but I couldnt hold it in. Im ashamed to say I broke down. The duffle bag in my hand dropped to the floor and I sunk to my knees in the middle of the doorway. I pushed my hands into my eyes as I felt the undescribable pain rise up in my chest and I couldnt hold back the tears that forced their way out.  
"Shes gone... shes gone... shes gone..." Was all I could get out, my voice was hoarse and strained with emotion.

"Dimka?... whos gone?... Dimka?" Tasha asked worriedly, kneeling down beside me and putting her hands on my shoulders. I leaned into her, needing the reasurring touch of someone, anyone.  
I was overcome completely. I couldnt process the fact that Roza was really gone, that she was no longer...alive.

I stayed on my knees on the floor for who knows how long, it could have been minutes or hours. Tasha moved off after a while and I Could hear her talking quietly on the phone.

"Christian? Its me, listen Dimka just came home.. hes a mess... what the hell happened?" She whispered into the phone. There was silence as I presumed Christian explained it to her.  
"Oh no...oh God no... are you sure? Shes definitely..." Shes sighed as she listened again.  
"Alright... well...let me know if anything happens... keep in touch Christian. 'kay bye."

For some reason I suddenly couldnt stand it that she knew, I lifted myself abruptly off the ground, grabbed my bag and stalked into my room, shutting and locking the door as I did.

I stopped in the middle of my room, looking at the bed, the dressing table, the closet. It all infuriated me. The plainness of it all, the lack of... anything to do with her. I flew into a rage, swiping everything off the top of the dresser and flinging it crashing into the wall, ripping the clothes off the hangers in the open closet. I was in a blind rage as I punched the wall over and over again. My knuckles getting raw and bloody but I didnt care, I couldnt feel that pain through the pain in my chest.  
The only thoughts in my mind were "Shes gone, you've lost her forever, shes gone."

I stalked over to the small set of drawers beside the bed, ripping open the top draw I felt underneath the clothes and pulled out the small gold frame.  
Grasping onto it with both hands as though it was a life line I stared at the picture. It was the only one I had. It was the thing I treasure most since I left there 2 years ago.

She looked radiant Amazing. Perfect.

The anger drained out of me, leaving me empty and exhausted as I stared at her face.

Her shining, deep brown eyes seemed to stare back into me, glistening with a joy that ripped at my heart. Her olive skin was alight in the sunlight that I knew she loved, its warm rays making her glow and causing a lighter brown halo to ring her naturally dark brown, almost black, silky locks.

I couldnt stand. My knees buckled and I landed on the bed.

Curling my feet up slightly I was overcome with pain, in the solitude of my dark bedroom I clutched her photo to my chest and cried again.


	5. 06-05-2013

I groggily opened my eyes, seeing the sunlight filtering lightly through my open curtains. I glanced at the watch on my wrist, it was only 5:15am. I stretched my arms and legs, feeling a satisfying crack in my shoulder. As I rolled over I felt something poke into my chest, reaching down I lifted up the gold frame and it all came crashing back down.

She was gone, My Roza was gone.

My chest tightened but I held back the tears and the ache dulled slightly.

I sat up on the bed and glanced around at the room. I had thoroughly messed it up last night, running a hand through my hair I glanced at the duffle bag I had left in the middle of the floor, which reminded me of her diary that I had tucked inside on the plane.

I carefully pulled it out and as I settled back onto the bed I flipped it open to another page.

**06-05-2013**

**I went to a "ball" with Lissa today, not as her guardian but as her guest. It was just an excuse for the royals to dress up and get together. Not really something I was interested in attending but Lissa convinced me that it would be worth it, and she said there would be alcohol and since Im off duty I could have all the fun I wanted.  
I still didnt drink. When it comes to Lissas safety I refuse to ever be completely off duty, but I still went just to make her happy. It was a little more fun than I thought, Adrian was there and he kept me company while Liss was off schmoozing the other royals. **

**I know he still likes me... well more than likes... But I just cant return the feelings. Sure hes hott, and funny, and he would make an amazing boyfriend... If he had asked me a year ago then maybe I would have given him a chance... but now... whenever he looks at me ,whenever he touches me all I can think is 'Its not him.' Theres no flutter in my stomach when we lock eyes, theres no tingle when we accidently brush against eachother... hes just not Dimitri...**

* * *

My heart clenched. I had no idea she felt like that, I believed she would move on, she was young and gorgeous, she could have anyone she wanted anyone she desired... but all she wanted was me. And I blew it. I destroyed her happiness, she was broken without me and I had caused it.

I decided to read another entry before getting up and showering so I flicked through and randomly picked another page.

**29-08-2013**

**Well, Lissa is officially Queen. Tatiana stood down and passed the crown on to her. Lissa was so nervous before the ceremony that she almost passed out. I had to shake her and make her take calm deep breaths before going onto the stage... I know she will be an amazing queen, Ive always known she had the potential. Shes compassionate, loving, loyal and she knows whats right. I just hope everyone else believes that.**

** I also know that now my job is going to get alot harder, not only am I the last Dragomirs Guardian, but I am the Queens guardian now. Ill just have to keep on my toes and never get distracted.**

**Speaking of distractions... I heard Christian talking about going to visit his Aunt, something about not seeing her for so long. I think he noticed the slightly upset look on my face because he trailed off and closed his mouth without even finishing his sentence. I was going to question him on it since Im pretty sure he doesnt know about Dimitri and I but I didnt know how to phrase it.**

**Maybe next time Ill just corner him and threaten it out of him. Yeah I could definitely do that...**

* * *

I couldnt help the smile that tugged at my lips, I could totally see her holding Christian against a wall and threatening any information out of him. Of course she wouldnt actually hurt him but still...

I almost choked on the sob that hit me as I realised she couldnt do that anymore, she wouldnt be her usual sarcastic, happy self because... she was strigoi. They werent sarcastic, they werent funny... they were evil, deadly and uncaring... and now Rose was one of them.

I put the book carefully under my pillow and grabbed some clean clothes. I knew it was too early for Tasha to be up so I walked out to the bathroom and showered and changed.

I wasnt really in the mood yet to face Tasha after yesterday so I put my shoes on and headed out for a run.

The cool morning air was soothing against my skin, the sun was just peaking over the mountain on the horizon. Its orange and red rays flaming along the ground, lighting up the small forest of trees bordering the small town and casting light shadows against the buildings.

I ran until my feet hurt, making it all the way about the boundary of the town, a good 3 hours worth of running before I stopped at the letterbox at the path that led to the house.

I almost didnt bother checking the box because I knew we dont get out mail delivered until later in the afternoon, but as I glanced at the box I noticed a small brown envelope placed in the bottom tray. I raised an eyebrow but pulled the letter out and flipped it over.

It had a Russian stamp on it. At first I just thought it was one of my sisters or my mama but as I looked at the messily scrawled 'Dimitri Belikov' and address I didnt recognise the writing at first... But something was familiar about it.

I made my way inside and drew in a deep breath as I closed the front door and heard rustling in the kitchen. That meant Tasha was up, no way of avoiding her now...

"Dimka? Is that you?"

well Im the only other person with a key to the house... "Yes, its me, just went for a run." I replied, making my way into the kitchen. She turned as I entered and sent me a smile as she studied my face, obviously looking for signs that I was still as distraught as last night. I just reached for a cup and poured myself a coffe, returning her smile.

"Do you have a class today?" I asked, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Yeah, just one class at nine, you dont need to come though. Just stay here and relax, have a day off, You've earned it." She said smiling widely before bringing a cup to her lips and drinking the remainder of her coffee.

I nodded once in thanks before turning and taking my coffee with me to my room.

I sat down at the desk against the window and pulled the letter out of my pocket, I noticed it had something chunky inside it. Flipping it over I tore it open and pulled out the crisp white piece of paper along with a long golden chain and pendant... My eyes widdened as I looked at the necklace...

It was the gold rose necklace... just like the one Rose wore with the lust charm on it!

I opened the letter and took a deep,calming breath before reading it.

**Dimitri,**

**Comrade.**

**Its been far too long hasnt it? What is it now.. 2 years? Well I just thought I would let you know that things have changed with me, things are better. Im better.**

**Faster, stronger, tougher, less distractions just like you always wanted. Though my priorities have shifted now, after recent... events.  
**

**I no longer wish to protect Lissa, I actually couldnt care less what happens to her, Im finally living my life for me... and I plan on having you join me.**

**I miss you Comrade, I need you beside me. Together we could take on the world.**

**Ill see you soon.  
I Promise.**

**Xo Youre Roza oX**

I stared at the page, almost unwilling to register what it was telling me.  
It really was true then, Rose was strigoi, she was one of them... and she was coming after me...


	6. Chapter 6

I pulled my phone off the dressing table, scrolling through untill I found Lissas number.

It rang four times before she answered groggily. "Hello?"

"Lissa... Its Dimitri."

"Dimitri?" She responded sleepily, I could imagine her trying to sit up and rubbing her eyes.

"Sorry, youre on vampiric schedule arent you..." I trailed off kind of hesitant, I wasnt sure if she was still angry at me for the way I reacted on the plane and I hadnt even considered the time difference.

"Yeah but its fine, is it important?" I heard her stifle a yawn.

"I recieved a letter in the mail... Its from Rose."

I heard her sharp inhale on the other end. "What did it say? What did she say? Is she alright? Is it bad?" She blurted out.

"Its... Shes definitely strigoi, she basically admits it... And Lissa... It sounds like she likes it..." I forced the words out before I picked up the letter and read it word for word to her, by the time I was finished there was complete silence on the other end. I waited a moment before wondering wether she had actually hung up... "Lissa?"

"...Im still here... I... She doesnt care about me?" I heard her voice hitch and knew that it hurt deeply for her to hear, Rose was like her sister afterall, they had been through so much together. I could hear muffled voices on her end of the phone, she answered quietly. And I knew right away it was Christian trying to comfort her.

"Look Lissa... Ive had time to think about it... " I let out a sigh, I still didnt want to accept it, to believe that it was possible. If I got my hopes up to much and it turned out that bringing her back truely was impossible I honestly didnt know what I ws going to do. I couldnt handle that pain..."These... Stories... Do they explain how to change her back exactly?"

"Both Adrian and I are working on it, we even have help from Sonya and a women Adrian met in Russia whose a spirit weilder-"

"Oksana?" I asked, I knew spirit was a very rare element and so it didnt take a rocket scientist to put it together. Babushka Yeva was friends with a shadow kissed couple in Baia, Mark and Oksana, I had met them as a child.

"Yeah...you know her?"

"Shes an old family friend... So you really think its possible?" I asked, trying and failing to stop the tiny shred of hope that managed to creep into my heart.

"I know it is. Dimitri we WILL bring her back." her voice was suddenly so strong and unwavering I had to smile. As delicate and fragile as Vasillissa looked, she was definitely anything but. She was probably one of the strongest, and sometimes scariest young women I knew. Her passion and drive to do what was right was undeniable.

"So what do I need to do? Shes made it clear that she wants me, she obviously knows where I am." I asked, moving off the bed and over to the window, shifting the lace white drapes so I could see out into the front yard.

The sun was up higher, the sky turning to a pale blue. I suddenly tried to imagine Rose out there somewhere, her skin a pale tinge and her amazing brown eyes ringed in red...

"Just... Try and avoid her? If she wants you then I have no doubt that she will find a way... This is Rose afterall, she was a pretty badass dhampir so she'll be an even worse strigoi and if she catches you... She'll either turn you or kill you... Or you'll end up killing her... I dont want either of those to happen, so just stay out of sight, where she cant find you. We will do our best on this end to figure out a plan and let you know."

"All right, take care Lissa." I said before I snapped my phone shut. I stared out the window for a while, if Rose knew I lived here then it wasnt safe, she could show up as soon as the sun goes down for all I know. So I had to leave, I had to go somewhere she wouldnt...

It all clicked for me then, I knew where I would go. Where I would be relatively safe for the moment.

I started grabbing clothes and toiletries and shoving them into my bag, I wasnt too sure how long I was going for, or if I would even come back here.

Half an hour later I had my bag, my wallet and keys and was out the door. I squealed out of the driveway and towards the airport. Pulling my phone out and dialing Tashas number, I had thought about just leaving a note but I didnt want Tasha in the house alone, not if Rose was going to be in the area. Even as a dhampir Rose had disliked Tasha, as a strigoi she would probably kill her.

"Hi this is Tasha, Im busy at the moment so please leave a message and Ill get back to you." beeeeeeep

"Tasha its Dimitri, listen I need to disappear for a while, I need you to go to court and stay with Lissa and Christian. I know you know Rose is strigoi...shes after me, she left a note at the house this morning so its not safe there. Ill call you again when I arrive where Im going, sorry I cant tell you where... Its not safe for you. Please, please go to court." I rushed out and snapped my phone shut.

I pulled my car into the airport carpark and made my way through the main doors. As I glanced around I spotted the check in desk and started making my way over.

A hand suddenly gripped my shoulder abruptly pulling me to a stop and spinning me around.

"Belikov. Its good to see you again." he smiled a wide toothy grin. His gold earring glinting in the light and his brightly coloured scarf a definite contrast to the grey and black pinstripe suit he wore.

"Zmey." I replied locking eyes with the short, plump moroi man.


	7. Chapter 7

"Please, call me Abe." He smiled, offering his hand to me.

I eyed him warily for a moment, this man was known for his shady dealings and he had a very unpleasent reputation. The only reason I was even giving him the time of day was because he had helped my family when I was younger.

"Abe. What can I do for you?" I asked taking his hand firmly in mine and shaking it twice before dropping mine to my sides. I glanced around, usually when ever Abe was about then he was tailed by guardians... Only there were none in the building, I couldnt see a single guardian anywhere. it was odd.

"Im here on behalf of Rose."

My body instantly tensed, I locked eyes with him. He knows Rose? How? I had to double check his features somehow expecting to see paler skin and red eyes...but he was fine. I relaxed and raised an eyebrow. "On behalf of her? How do you know Miss Hathaway?" I questioned him, wondering just how much he knew about her and what his intentions were.

"Oh come now Belikov, you dont have to hide it from me. I am fully aware of your... Relationship... With Rose."

"Im sure I dont know what youre talking about." I defended instantly. Surely this mobster man didnt know anything about us... How could he? Noone else knew... But if he did... Should I be worried?

"I have been in touch with Guardian Petrov, she informed me of Roses current... Predicament... She pointed me to you, saying that you were closest to Rose, other than Queen Dragomir, she spoke highly of you, but she did mention that towards the end of term that circumstances changed...because you left Rose. She seemed to think that you changed her, as she changed you. She was still adamant that you would be the one to help though." he crossed his arms over his chest and his dark brown eyes bore into my own.

Guardian Petrov... Alberta? I knew she had her guesses about me and Rose, but why would she bring Abe Mazur into it?

"Why do you hold an interest in Rose?" I questioned.

He smirked and as I stared at his face, his eyes, he attempted to raise one eyebrow only to have both of them go up.

My mouth dropped open in shock as I realised who he really was. It couldnt be, surely not... Surely Zmey wasnt her... Her father? The resemblance at this exact moment was uncanny. His facial features, the intense brown of his eyes. The same skin colour, hair colour... He was like an older, male version of her...

"Youre her father?" I finally asked after a moment of stunned silence. He nodded in confirmation before his arms dropped, he clapped me on the shoulder lightly.

"Youre a quick study Belikov. Now where are you heading in such a hurry?"

I eyed him for a moment longer, wondering wether I could really trust this man. If he was really Roses father then surely he would have her best interests at heart... But how much did he know? Has Lissa spoken to him? Does he know we are trying to save her?

"I suppose Im going wherever you are headed, sir." I said, lifting one hand as though offering for him to lead the way.

He led me back outside and around the back towards the private runway, a solid black jet sat at the edge, its motor idling as though it had barely touched down and was already waiting to take off again.

"Please, take a seat. We'll be back at the academy before long and we can go over your... Plans.. There." Abe said as he took a seat on the leather couch against one side of the plane. I glanced around, there was a couch on either side, small tables at each end held bottles of liquor and soda. At the other end there was a door which I could only imagine on a plane this luxurious that it would lead to a bedroom of some sort.

I sat opposite him as he offered me a glass of clear liquid. "Russian vodka." he grinned as I took the glass.

The smooth Drink burned its way down my throat, and flooded me with memories of home. The planes engine grew louder and I glanced out the window to see the runway sliding beneath us and the plane lifted up.

"So Dimitri, you dont mind if we go on first name basis do you?" he didnt even wait for a response before carrying on. "What exactly happened between you and Rose?"

I gulped, glancing at him warily. That was definitely a loaded question. There was no way I was going to admit that I had slept with my student, his underage daughter... I didnt have a death wish.

"Rose and I...cared deeply for each other, our student-mentor relationship become... More. But as soon as it felt as though it was blurring our lines of duty I ended it. I couldnt risk my charge because of my feelings for a fellow guardian. So I left 2 years ago and I took up a position as Lady Ozeras guardian."

"Did you love her?" he asked suddenly, leaning forward with his elbows in his knees, he was studying me intently.

"Yes. I loved Rose. I still do." I didnt even have a chance to consider my answer before it just came tumbling out of my mouth. I tensed, waiting for his angered reply. Surely he wouldnt be happy, I mean, there was a big age difference, and I had been her mentor...

"Good."

"What? Good?" I stuttered, shock was no doubt evident on my face.

He chuckled lightly. "You forget Dimitri, I know you. Ive known you for a long time now. I also know that Rose could be... Unpredictable, aggressive, a little hard headed... I couldnt have picked a better man for my daughter. Even under the curcumstances." he cleared his throat gruffly. "I do wish however, that you hadnt left her. Shes had far too many men leave her behind." his eyes grew distant for a split second, I could hear the meaning behind his words.

"Why did you leave then?" for the second time I was unable to control what came out of my mouth. Where the hell has all of my hard worked self control gone?

"that is a very long story." he mused, swirling the vodka around in his cup before taking a sip. "But Im sure you are well aware of my..uh reputation... Its not exactly family friendly." he finished his drink, "Lets just leave it that. Now. What are your plans regarding Roses current...state? I take it you are planning to go after her, are you not?"

I eyed him for barely a moment, I dont know what it was but I felt as though, even with his reputation and his business dealings that Abe Mazur was probably a very good man to have on our side, that and the fact that he seemed to care about his daughter. So I told him everything, Lissas plan, her research and the fact that Rose was looking for me.

He had a thoughtful look on his face, like he was deep in concentration, his brows furrowed and his lips were pursed in a tight thin line.

"So... Youre telling me... Rose is strigoi... But Vasillissa thinks she can turn her back into a dhampir?" he asked never taking his eyes off the spot hed been staring at on the carpet.

"exactly."

"Using spirit?"

"yes."

"So she would be back to her old self? Completely dhampir again?"

"Yes, thats what we hope." I nodded, watching him intently trying gauge his reaction.

When he looked up his eyes were hard and determined, a glint of something hidden behind the deep brown iris's. That one look reminded me so much of Roza it hurt.

"right. We'll need eyes on her, tracking her whereabouts at all times and Im sure Lissa will need help. Ill get my men onto it right away. If we can really save her then I will do everything in my power."


	8. Chapter 8

I dont know what drew me here, as soon as the plane had touched down and Abe and I had been welcomed back by Guardian Petrov and headmistress Kirova, I figured I could catch up properly with them later, I had dumped my things in the guest dorms, and just wandered around the familiar academy grounds. I didnt have a purpose or a destination in mind but I soon found myself following a painfully familiar path through the woods.

I stepped over the twisted, gnarled roots and wound around the thick trunks of old, tall trees. Following a path of twisty vines and dirt tracks that was barely visible unless you knew what to look for... And as far as I knew, only Roza and I knew of it. This was our secret path, one we found not long after...

I stopped at the end and stared at the building looming in shadows infront of me, my mind wandered back to that night. The night where my control snapped, my will power crumbled and I gave in to the feelings that had been crushing me for weeks. I finally told Roza how I felt, showed her how I felt...from that blissfully amazing night my life changed forever... From that night there was no going back, she was mine and I was hers.

Resting my hand against the smooth wooden door, I had to take a deep breathe before I gathered enough strength to push it open and enter the small room.

My eyes wandered around the little open space, a thin layer of dust was obvious over almost every inch. It looked like no one had been here in a while, but someone had definitely been here after us, The counter no longer held the first aid kit Id used to clean her wounds, and my heart almost clenched as I noted that the bed had been made...

There was not a single trace of what had happened inside these walls. It was as though it had never happened... Though the memories that swirled around in my head reminded me that it was real, the sweet smell of her skin where I had skimmed my nose over her collarbone, the taste of her lips as they moulded against mine, the feel of her smooth bare skin brushing against my own as we became one...

I ran my hands over my face, they were such bitter sweet memories, I couldnt handle them right now...not when the love of my life was living as a monster... A monster we had promised we would never let the other become...

The memory of that conversation, in the van on our way to Missoula, sprang to the front of my mind...

_"You might still hesitate," I stated, "And that hesitation could kill you. And her."_

_"Then how do you make sure you don't hesitate?" Rose asked curiously, turning her face so that she could see mine properly._

_"You have to keep telling yourself that they aren't the same people you knew. They've become something dark and twisted. Something unnatural. You have to let go of attachments and do what's right. If they have any grain of their former selves left, they'll probably be grateful."_

_"Grateful for me killing them?" she asked incredulously._

_"If someone turned you into a Strigoi, what would you want?" I asked knowing what her answer would most likely be, though this is probably something shes never really thought about._

_She kept silent, both of us just staring intensely at eachother until I continued. "What would you want if you knew you were going to be converted into a Strigoi against your will? If you knew you would lose all sense of your old morals and understanding of what's right and wrong? If you knew you'd live the rest of your life—your immortal life—killing innocent people? What would you want?"_

_She paused and looked down at her hands, her eyebrows knotting a little as she contemplated my question, then, slowly. She bought her eyes back to look at mine. A fierce, steely resolve in her deep brown eyes. "If I became Strigoi…I'd want someone to kill me."_

_"So would I," I said quietly_.

That statement was a promise. I felt it, and I know she felt it. It was a silent promise to eachother that if one of us was turned, then the other would save us... But... If there was a chance of saving her, to bring her back, I should take it right? It it was reversed, if I was a strigoi... Would she kill me knowing that there was a possibility I could be saved? Or would she do everything in her power to bring me back?

I pulled her little black diary out of my duster pocket, flicking through the pages I found the very last entry she had written. I sat down carefully on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath before reading the messy, familiar black handwritting.

**13/04/2014 **

**We're going shopping in Montana tomorrow. Lissa says she needs a break from the politics and the formalities of being in court, of being around all of the royals. She wants to go and spend some time just being Teenage girls.**

**Honestly I couldnt agree more. Whenever I see her she has a slight frown on her face, or shes getting frustrated over some stupid law thats trying to be passed. Its just rediculous how much pressure and shit she has to deal with. Its not right for someone whose barely in her 20s but then again, Lissa isnt your average teenage girl. She has always been kind hearted and always worried about moroi and dhampirs and politics. Its in her blood. ****I think its about time she took some time off though, let her hair down, relax and enjoy life... Even for just a day.**

**On completely unrelated topics... I very nearly rang him today. I dont really know why, after all this time... Two years... Two long years, I still feel every bit as broken and... Incomplete Without my Comrade... Ha listen to me, I still call him my Comrade, but hes not... Hes not mine, hes hers. I need to get passed this...**

**Lissa asked me an odd question the other day... We were sitting in her room, she was reading over some papers while I sat opposite her (it was my official day off so I wasnt on duty so I could relax.) she looked up and out of no where asks "Who was it?"**

**I had no clue what the hell she was on about so I asked what she meant...**

**She had hesitated before answering quietly, "Who... Broke your heart? Ive been getting alot better at reading auras... And at first I couldnt figure out what your colours meant... You have all the colours that correspond with loss, hurt and... A broken heart..."**

**I felt as though my heart had stopped, I had just stared at her for a moment, I didnt want to get into this with her, not when I knew she would get mad at me for keeping it from her.. So I just shrugged it off, told her that it was ancient history and that something had just reminded me of it but I didnt want to get into detail... Thankfully she let it go.**

**How could I tell her that I was in love with my mentor, and that we had gotten together... Only for him to leave because of our jobs. He believed we couldnt both guard her life without getting distracted by eachother.**

**No, I couldnt tell Lissa that she was, kind of, the reason that I was broken hearted... Not that I blame her at all. I could never blame her.**

**I blame him for leaving, I blame myself for falling for him, but I could never blame her.**

oh my Roza, Ive always admired the way she put others first, especially Lissa. Its how we are raised, moroi come first, but for her its deeper than that. Lissa is her family, the closest thing to family shes had. Roza really would do anything for her...

But Now Rozas in trouble, shes the one who needs help.

So Im going to save her. Im going to get her back.

Closing the diary and tucking it safely back into my duster pocket, I pull out my cellphone. Its only been just over 24 hours since I last spoke to Lissa but I decided to call her and see whats happening on her end.

It rang twice before Lissa answered, "Dimitri?"

"Hey Lissa, Abe and I just arrived at Vlads. Hows things on your end going?"

"things are good here, we think we may have a lead, Adrians following it up right now. As soon as we have something solid we will let you know...have..." she hesitated a moment before clearing her throat lightly, "have you had any other letters from..."

"no, I dont even know if she knows Im here yet... Its part of the plan though, we will lure her here, if she wants me that badly then she will come..." I couldnt help the small smile that tugged at my lips as I thought about Rozas stubborn nature, whenever she wanted something she would do what she had to to get it, no matter what. "I know she will come."


End file.
